Posted by: hamede | April 2, 2007

Lines from actual resumes

-Ihave lurnt wordperfect6.0 computor and spreadsheat progroms.

-Received a plague for salesperson of the year.

-Reason for leaving last job:maturity leave.

-Wholly responsible for two(2) failed financial institutions.

-Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

-It,s best for employers that i not work with people.

-Let,s meet,so you can”ooh” “aah” over my experience.

-You will wont me to be head honcho in no time.

-Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

-I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

-Marital status:singel,unmarried.unengaged.uninvolved,no commitments.

-I have an excellent track record.although i am not a horse.

-My goal is to be a meteorologist,but since i possess no training in meteorology,i suppose i should try stock brokerage.

-I procrastinate,especially when the task is unpleasant.

-Personal interests:donating blood,fourteen gallons so far.

-Note:please don,t misconstrue my 14 jobs as”job-hopping”i have never quit a job.

-Marital status:often,children:various.

-Reason for leaving last job,they insisted that oll employees get to work by 8:45 every morning,could not work under those conditions.

-The company made me a scapegoat,just like my three previous employers.

-Finished eighth in my class of ten.



  1. hehehehe, This is the perfect resume:D Really funny!!

    what a resume … i would get a perfect job with this 😀 hehehehe

  3. Once I was leaving a company and we put an Ad in newspaper for a substitute. We received hilarious resumes, they are made hilarious not on purpose of course. Honestly, We suck when it comes to CV writing.

  4. Looooooooooooool : D so funny ! good way to start the day

  5. Nido maioush bilal tamara thank you all glad you likk.

  6. Regardless on how it is written it got our attention..and we are “aahing” and “oohing”..Very funny..

    Nice blog too..

  7. i put on my resume: great ass kisser (مساح جوخ) 🙂

  8. Reason for leaving last job:maturity leave.

    I am looking forward to this moment to make it.

    It’s hard specially if it was the first Job for you 😦

    Nice stuff Hamede 🙂

  9. Thank you noura.

  10. Abu shakuush, hala 3ami.

  11. Red rose.
    Good luck,and thank you.

  12. loooooooool Fazeeee3 🙂

  13. Hi 7ala good to see you thank you.

  14. nahfe 🙂

  15. MOA NO1.
    Welcome in this place.

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